Back to the Future

Warning -I thought I would do a purely meaningless what-not-to-wear post today so if you are looking for an ounce of substance, please stop now and proceed elsewhere.

While doing some shopping at the TJ Maxx's before Christmas, I was stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of the following items. To put it simply - I was appalled. To think that these items were in one of my favorite stores at the brink of the second decade of the 2000s - it just didn't seem possible. Stacy and Clinton - where are you???

Let's begin with these cute little things - worthy of a little fashion discussion. Am I wrong, or did all of us just wear these in the 80s? And what makes the powers that be think we would want to wear them again? Unless . . . some girls might not be quite as mature as I am and didn't have the pleasure of wearing these cute little stirrup pants the first time around. Doesn't even the name give you pause? Only a twinkle in their mama's 80s eyes would wear these today. Please ladies, don't make the same mistake we did.

Yes, indeedy, just as the Bee Gees were beginning to hum "Staying Alive, " I was wearing these exact Gloria Vanderbilt jeans the first day of my junior year in high school - I am not kidding you. I had these and Calvin Kleins. I'll never forget it - I wore them with a white eyelet top and white sandals (I know, I know, I have reformed since then). I didn't have my driver's license yet, so my best friend came and picked me up in her big white 4 door Dodge. We were so cool . . . but only because I had on my GV jeans. Anyway, while I'm glad GV is still in business, my mind just can't wrap around the fact that these apparently are right back in style. And at TJ Maxx, mind you.

Here's one for ya. Hmm . . wonder why these are on the sale rack?? Just in case there is any confusion, these are leopard print leggings. There are just some places animal print should not be found . . . like as bottoms, skin hugging, rear attaching, bottoms. Wrong, just wrong. Sidenote: I actually saw Fran Drescher wearing these on a rerun of "The Nanny" the other night. So, there you go.

Okay, you can thank me later for sharing the Hollywood Secret.

And this is just for good measure - I just couldn't resist taking a picture of this work of art. What you don't see is that the bottoms have stars on them. Stars - on your bottom. The 4th of July will never be the same. Gives a whole new meaning to "broad stripes and bright stars," doesn't it?

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Fashion 101 for 2010. Enjoy your day!