Momma Said There Would Be Days Like This, Momma Said

Well, if I were a woman of few words, I could tell you all that's happened to me in the last few days quickly but since I'm not . . . I won't. First of all, last Wednesday night 28, that's right 28 ladies appeared in our room at the church to become wiser women. We are getting us some wisdom - because wisdom is supreme! "Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom." Proverbs 4:7. What part of that do we not understand?

As we were wrapping up, I shared with the ladies that we need to seek wisdom everyday and be "prayed up" because we just don't know what our days will hold. That we need to be prepared for what God has in store for us. Well, let me just tell you what happened within the next 24 hours of my imparting that word. (I should have known).

Disclaimer #1: When telling E my tale of two tales, she immediately said to me, "Mom, why does this stuff always happen to you." Exactly.

Disclaimer #2: This first happening is not intended to be offensive. I'm only relaying exactly what happened. These are just the facts, ma'am.

Okay here we go. . . Thursday morning Mother and I got an early start as she had a routine doctors appointment first thing. After that, she said these exact words, "honey, I have a gift certificate to the Nordstroms and it expires May 1st so if you don't mind, could we go there this morning so I can use it." Well, of course, because I wouldn't want it to expire before we got there. So, I dropped her off at Nordstrom's door, as I was going to go to the Lifeway store to leisurely stroll the book aisles while she shopped. Once I dropped her off though, I realized I needed a little something from the nearby Atlanta Bread Company, so I ran in there for just a minute.

I cringe as I type these words because it all happened so fast and I couldn't stop it.

I was waiting in line directly in front of the pastry cases, cashier and man ordering to my left. I knew what I wanted so I was just standing there, absent-mindedly poofing the top of my hair with my right hand, head down (it's a bad habit), eyes closed for just a second, I tell you, just a second. As I brought my hand down from my hair (eyes still closed), what I didn't know was that said man at the counter had moved in front of me and (oh my great goodness), I hit him in the rear with my hand.

And before I could sputter out, "excuse me" or "I'm sorry," he whirled around in lightening speed, looked me straight in the eyes and said these words I don't think I'll ever forget in the loudest voice possible: "Did . . you . . . just . . . spank . . . me?" Uh, no, well yes. Oh. my. gosh. Lord, please take me to heaven right now. please oh, please. As I stood there dumbfounded, he proceeded to tell the cashier, the two ladies behind me and his friend who had strolled up to see what all the commotion was all about: "This lady just spanked me, it's not even 10 o'clock and I've been spanked. It is my lucky day!"

Oh, I just better go now. I'll have to tell you the other story tomorrow.